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Reader Inserts by Crazylight36

Reader x Karkat and Reader x Kankri stories by karkatlover69

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Submitted on
May 8, 2013
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You stepped away from your school's campus and over to the parking lot where your car waited. It'd been a rather long day. At least now you could just head home an--

That thought was interrupted by a loud car horn sounding close by. You looked up as a large black van came fast around the parking lot corner and jerked to a halt in the road in front of you. The shotgun seat window rolled down, and your eyes met with the eye-bagged stare of Karkat Vantas.

While you couldn't say you were well acquainted with the young man, you two did share a bit of history. Only a few weeks ago he'd been a customer at the convenience store you had until recently been employed at, at the time when a large thug came in and demanded that you open the cash register. Saving the day, Karkat had grabbed a bottle of the closest thing to him, and slammed the man twice his size with it. He was out cold in an instant.
Needless to say, you decided then to never again doubt the wonder of the cheap soda.
You'd run into your savior a couple times after that, in odd places, and eventually went out on a date when he'd asked. You figured the whole 'he saved my life' situation deemed him worthy of a date. Of course then one date had become two, then three.
But putting the recent history you two shared aside, it would have been just as outrageous to be watching him calling your name and looking out of his sketchy van if you hadn't known him at all, as it was having some knowledge of who he was.

"___, get in the car! There's no time to explain!"

You stared at him in confusion.
With a grumble under his breath, he opened his door and jumped out, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the back seat of the van. For such a large vehicle, it sure was small on the inside. Perhaps it had to do with the random cases and computer equipment, or the other occupants that you hadn't before noticed. There was barely any time to get your bearings before the driver stomped on the gas pedal and the van lunged out of place. Feeling something move around you, you looked down to see Karkat fastening your seatbelt.

"What's going--"
"Shoosh. Not now," he answered, taking the middle backseat. You watched the man driving steer wildly as he dodged another, law-abiding car and sped onto a main road. Each time he made a move the contents of the van shifted around.

"Do you mind? Thith ithn't ecthactly eathy," said the person on the other side of Karkat. Peering around him, you saw a well-dressed man with bi-colored glasses typing away furiously on a sort of laptop-on-steroids (what with the mass of add-ons and cables attached). In fact, now that you were thinking of it, Karkat was dressed up too, wearing a sleek black suit coat over his grey shirt and black trousers.

"Thscorry! We haf- have to keeph moving!" came the reply from up front, out of the mouth of a man  who looked vaguely like the computer man, in what looked like some sort of sporty/agenty athletic wear.  

Standing up slightly in his seat, Karkat glanced out the back window, shortly before producing a line of colorful phrases. "CAN'T YOU GO FASTER?! THEY'VE FOUND US!"

"I athume they were coming after her the thame time ath we were."
"I cen't get ith to go faschter!"

"Karkat, I--" you attempted to ask about the situation again. You were promptly shushed. Deciding to sit back and observe in order to get an idea of the situation, you noticed a slick black car pull up on your side of the road. Before long, it rammed into the crowded van.

"KDHIVOI34OFDOHUO7G!!!" came the reply up front. The driver continued speeding down the stretch of road, black cars in pursuit. You cast a sidelong look at Karkat, and gasped when you noticed the fact that he was taking a large pistol out from under his seat and loading it.

"Sollux, windows," he breathed shortly while checking the guns condition. The man beside him leaned his thin body forward and pulled down a flap on the back of the driver's seat, revealing a keypad. Pressing a combination he had memorized, all the vans windows lowered with a fast ssshhhhk

You didn't manage to contain your surprised yelp as Karkat lifted his gun right past you, aiming it out the window. You weren't really sure if it was from having a loaded weapon so close to you, or the awkward fact that Karkat had to lean into you slightly to get around you, causing a red blush to shade your cheeks. Your thoughts of romance halted then, because the black car beside you had its windows lowering. The sight inside wasn't pretty. Two dark, sinister looking men were glaring back at you. Before you could turn away, loud shots fired pasts your head. A loud ringing persisted in your ears, and you looked back at the man that brought you into this with a very clear what-have-you-gotten-me-into-you-butt expression. He only gave an apologetic glance before shoving your head down and out of view and turning to the car on the other side of the road.
The van continued barreling down the street in a blur, despite the protest of honking cars all around it.

"Whoa, what's all up and happening?"

You and Karkat twisted in your seats in surprise to see yet another young man sitting up in the trunk of the van. His dark hair was in complete disarray, as well as the half-buttoned indigo shirt he wore.

"GAMZEE?!" Karkat bellowed, before taking another shot at one of the enemy cars. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! YOU'RE NOT ON THIS MISSION!"

"You're all levels of loud, Karbro. Just chill. Hey, I was in here first just slamming a Faygo and getting my nap on before you guys took the truck out for a joyride."

"Van," you corrected, letting your big mouth get ahead of you as usual.

'Gamzee' peered at you intently for a moment, as if genuinely confused by your statement, before looking around the vehicle.

"Whoaaa. This was totally a truck before. Freaking miracles, sister."

Karkat began to let out a rather melodramatic sigh, but it was cut short as the van screeched around a tight corner, causing the non-trucks occupants to be pulled around yet again. The driver laughed giddily while 'Sollux' wore a dissatisfied frown.

You looked around once the shifting stopped, and saw that you were driving alongside a long stretch of beach now. The driver raced in a sort of messed up zigzag pattern so as to deter the enemy cars (at least, you were pretty sure he was doing it on purpose). Before long, the cars started falling behind you.

"TULIP!" he screeched suddenly, making you bring your hands up to cover your ears. A ways ahead, a lady was riding toward you all on a teal and red Harley motorcycle. As she came closer, you could see her shining raven hair flowing behind her and the self-satisfied grin adorning her face. With only a short distance between the motorcycle and van, she pulled off the street and braked. Unclipping what looked to be--oh gosh it WAS a grenade, she pulled the pin out with her teeth and sent it flying at the car on your side. The driver didn't slow in time, and the device made contact. The van powered on as the car exploded in a bright display of reds, oranges, and yellows behind you.

Gamzee seemed rather entertained by the sight.
As the van passed by the mysterious woman, she cupped her hands around her mouth. "You've got this, babe!"

You're driver returned with an enthusiastic thumbs up.

"Both handth on the wheel, Mituna," Sollux reminded.
The van lurched again, but this time not by the driver whose driving skills were constantly being put into question by you. The second black car was slamming into your bumper. The two in that car were a slightly odder pair than the others. One looked abnormally big, the other abnormally small. Nonetheless, they still had the same goal, which you still didn't understand but knew it had something to do with you.
You heard Karkat curse next to you, and you turned to see him drop the now empty gun.

"Out of bullets," he spat. He looked up through the driver's window, only to begin shouting the same curse. Following his line of sight, you gasped. The car was pushing your van right onto a pier! Mituna attempted to swerve, but couldn't get the pushing vehicle off the bumper.

"Hey, look'it that big, blue, wet thing," Gamzee commented, pointing at what you all were already looking at.

"Karkat?!" you whined, as the end of the pier approached rapidly. He grabbed your hand and held it tightly.

"___, hold your breath!" he shouted back to you. Just as the van reached the end and shot off the end of the dock (causing the non-car proof railing to snap), you and he locked eyes again. You were sure that you looked confused and terrified, but he looked more aggravated than anything.
Had you had more time to study his gaze, you might've noticed the glint of fear that was in his eyes too. It just wasn't for his own safety.

The water surface met you in an instant, and the momentum and shock brought stars into your line of vision. Once you were in the water, everything seemed darker. No, no that was you blacking out. You tried to fight the nausea, but your vision blurred and you felt yourself grow weak. Soon you couldn't feel Karkat's grasp anymore and succumbed to all of the trauma.


Sollux tightened the cables around the two mobsters as they whined about how some guy named Slick was going to kill them.

      "Therveth you idiotth right," he muttered.
      Straightening his aching back, he wiped a hand over his forehead to brush away the water droplets clinging there. He looked down only to frown at his ruined red and blue vest.

      "BRO, Karkacth and ___ haven't thurfaced!" Sollux's older brother called out from the edge of the pier, looking out where the van had enter the ocean. The only person he could see beyond his thick bangs was Gamzee, who was still swimming lazy circles in the water and looked to be in no hurry to be doing anything else.

      Latula, who'd rejoined the group and was currently leaning against a side rail, glanced through the cracks of the pier. She smirked.
      "Oh, I think they're fine."


      Feeling came back slowly. Eventually, you could sense cool waves pulling back and forth around you. Something weighed down on your chest, but you couldn't move your arms enough to push it off. You tried to muster enough strength to open your eyes and move, but you still felt weak and waterlogged. The thing let up, before weighing you back down and letting up again. Then something else, something warm and soft, touched your mouth. It brought a strange sensation that made your body tingle. You felt your lungs rise and fall. Carefully, you managed to open your eyes to find Karkat performing CPR on you. Your eyes opened wider in surprise and you let out a string of unintelligible mutters in an attempt to let him know you were alright.

      He looked up, relieved.

      "Are you okay, ___?" he asked.

      "Nnh. Yeah," you answered, before remembering the string of events that brought you to...what appeared to be under the pier you'd just fallen off of. "What's going on?"

      Karkat lifted you up to a standing position, but kept hold of you as you were still unbalanced.
      "Uh...well....I haven't been fully honest with you, ___."

      "What do you mean?" you replied, thinking 'well obviously NOT, dumbbutt' but affirming his statement to further the explanation.

      "You know how on our first date, I said I worked for the government?"

      "Well...I don't exactly. I mean, my organization is in close association with the government, and even some other governments, but it's pretty much its own thing, you know like how those other organizations and groups work, and...I'm rambling. Never mind. It's could say I'm a secret agent."

      You just stared at him for several seconds, still feeling lightheaded and processing the information.

      " come I--"

      "It's my fault you were brought into this. So...sorry."
"But why WAS I brought into this?"

Karkat shifted his stance and looked down at the sand uncomfortably.

       "...the enemy found out feelings towards you. They were gonna try to kidnap you as blackmail against me. People in my line of work aren't exactly supposed to get romantic with civilians. It complicates things, like it just did. I was just too stupid and horrible at being a reasonable agent to realize I was getting too close to you too fast, and all of a sudden it was 'hey Vantas, you dumb prick, now that you met your dream girl dramatically like your life is some freaking romcom, it's time to butcher your chances of being with her in a sensible stable relationship like a normal, functional person wou--'"
He stopped his self-loathing rant (something you'd found he was prone to doing) when your lips touched back onto his. The two of you, both still soaked in salty water, stood in the sand like that, just letting the comforting feeling you both gave each other sink in.


      Two figures approached the happy couple under the fishing dock. They both wore rather casual clothing in comparison to that of anyone else in their profession, and didn't seem too upset about their current situation of having come late to the fray. The shorter of the two, who wore large aviators, smirked.

      "Hey Vantas, you know you're supposed to be ON a pier if you're going for a romantic setting, not UNDER it, right?"

      The other figure placed a hand on his brother's shoulder.
      "Don't mess with the irony, lil bro."
Hey guys, this is my entry for :iconsew-bergamzee:'s contest!
She said she was looking for something original, so here's what I pulled out of my head to fit that. ( =w= )/

I don't own Homestuck, yadda yadda.
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Kokorodramon Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014  Student Artist
Lol funny.
LOLZALO Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2014
*pulls out a flute* *begins playing "secret agent man"*…
animefreak200228 Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Student Writer
dis right here is amazing I think you should make chapters
McKosmo99 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014  Student General Artist
I just-
WOW. that is all.
bulletproofBullet Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This was awesome
CheskaTehTanuki Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013
hm... sinister looking men, one abnormally big and one abnormally small... sounds like the midnight crew to me!!!

great story btw
mayaHDTV08 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this!!!!!!
KA-KeitorinArtist Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013  Student Filmographer
This.... This needs a sequel. 
Kinoko4 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013
I've got some whims floating around in my head. I just might write a part two at some point. 'v'
KA-KeitorinArtist Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013  Student Filmographer
*Jumps happily up and down*
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